on hearing women

Required reading before continuing.

I had a remarkably similar experience to Rachel’s. Actually, maybe it isn’t that remarkable. I’d guess that hundreds of women read that article and thought, me too.

On a Thursday in the spring of 2011, I spent the day experiencing a pain that was constant but bearable. I thought it might be pre-menstrual cramps or a pulled muscle. By the evening, it was no longer bearable and I asked my roommate to take me to an urgent care. She looked at me, doubled over in pain, and said we needed to go to the ER, not urgent care.

I’d been to the ER once when I was 10, when I broke my arm in a soccer game. Actually, I had broken it the day before. Maybe I have an extremely high pain tolerance. Maybe by 10 I was already used to downplaying my pain.

We got to the ER, where I struggled to fill out paperwork and told them my pain was a 10. Like in Rachel’s story, they assumed it was kidney stones.

I vomited on the floor of the ER because the pain was so intense.

They put me in a separate small room because I kept crying out in pain, then was told by a male nurse that the noises I was making would not help the type of pain I was experiencing.

I thought I was dying. I asked friends to pray for me because that seemed the only path to being healed while I waited for a doctor.

Five hours later, I was finally admitted. I went through the same spiel I gave to ER nurses – how the pain had progressed, where it was focused, what it felt like (a knife stabbing my insides then being twisted through my organs).

They gave me morphine. It didn’t help. They gave me Dilaudid. The pain dulled slightly. Like Rachel, it mostly just made me sleepy. I drank something that tasted awful and they did a CT scan. They found that I had a cyst that had overtaken my ovary. Luckily for me, it wasn’t wrapped around the fallopian tube like Rachel’s. The doctor told me that a cyst pushing on an ovary can cause some pain, especially right before your period starts. I told him it wasn’t just “some pain.” My cyst measured 6-7 centimeters, nearly triple the size of my ovary.

An appointment was set up for me with an OB/GYN who promptly put me on a birth control pill, saying it would help. I didn’t know then that the pill can’t do anything for an existing cyst. The OB/GYN didn’t recommend any other course of treatment.

Thankfully, my primary care physician recommended a different OB/GYN to me. My new doctor went over my scans with me again. We met in her office, not in the cold setting of an exam room. She told me that I could go off the pill if I wanted, that it wasn’t going to help. She told me there was no reason to leave a cyst of this size in my uterus. She told me I might lose my ovary. She told me it was up to me if I wanted the surgery, but that she recommend it. She gave me time to process and ask questions.

About a year after my trip to the ER, I had laparoscopic surgery to remove the cyst. My doctor tried to separate the cyst from my ovary, but it was too entangled. Like Rachel, I lost my ovary.

Later, my doctor showed me the images they had taken of the inside of my uterus. She pointed out the cyst and compared its size to my other ovary. She showed me a second image with a void where my cyst-engulfed ovary had been.

I have three small scars, undetectable to anyone but me. But there is a sisterhood of women who share my scars.

vacation diary: downtown seattle/capitol hill/cascades/neighborhoods

Day 5: Back in Seattle, we stayed with my friends Mal and Kelly (hey guys!). In the morning, we grabbed coffee at QED, then caught the bus to downtown Seattle. We wandered through the Seattle Public Library, which is beautiful and also has a very David Lynch creepy red hallway.

Next we went to Pike Place Market, where we did our best to consume as much as possible. Our sampling included dumplings, a pork steam bun, chowder, and fish. There are also so many beautiful (and CHEAP) bouquets in the market.

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After stuffing our faces, we walked around the city for awhile until we needed more coffee. We popped into a shop called Drip City, which is a pretty unfortunate name, for some cold brew, then headed on to the Space Needle and downtown area.

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Next we climbed our way out of downtown and up to Capitol Hill. We wandered around Elliot Bay Book Company, which was a delightful bookstore and also provided some much needed rest.

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We had some happy hour drinks at a bar called St. Johns and watched the first debate before heading to dinner at Ba Bar. It was too dark inside to take a picture of the food, but my bowl of pho was one of the best.

Day 6: Greg, Mal, and I drove out of the city and a little ways into the Cascades to do a hike called Rattlesnake Ledge. This is a challenging hike, as you’re climbing most of the time, but the payoff at the end is well worth it. Incredible views of the surrounding mountains.

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After our hike, we crushed some fantastic tacos in Wallingford and had a drink at Fremont Brewing.

We made our way to Holy Mountain Brewing for some more David Lynch themes and hazy beers, and eventually capped off the night with pizza and affogato at Cornuto.

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Day 7A: We were headed to Portland via the Bolt Bus, so we got downtown in the morning and had coffee at Elm Coffee Roasters, where Greg proclaimed he met the nicest barista he’d ever encountered. And finally, we had some pretty crazy Chinese noodle soup at King Noodle in the International District before talking the bus driver into letting us on early.

On to Portland!

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vacation diary: seattle/port ludlow/olympic

It’s now well over a month since we got back from our trip to the Pacific Northwest, but that won’t stop me from documenting the highlights. Enjoy!

Day 1: Arrive late Thursday night. Go to bed.

Day 2: We walked along Lake Washington Boulevard to Leschi. We had a late breakfast at a cute restaurant called Meet the Moon. We shared the giant cinnamon roll, which I highly recommend doing, and had avocado toast and bacon. They serve coffee from Olympia Coffee Roasting Co, which was great.

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After our late breakfast, we stopped into the Polka Dot Jersey, the local bike shop. After hiking back up the hill to the main road, we grabbed our stuff and took a Car2Go to the ferry.img_1611

The ferry took us to Bainbridge Island, where we were picked up by Greg’s uncle and aunt. We walked around the town of Poulsbo, which was settled by vikings, and had dinner at a Mexican restaurant. We went on to Port Ludlow, where Greg’s uncle and aunt live on Mats Mats Bay.

Day 3: We headed to Olympic National Park and did the Hurricane Ridge Trail. It’s a fairly easy hike that provides incredible views of the Olympics and the sea in the distance. I actually didn’t realize I was looking at the ocean at times, it just looked like the blue sky between mountains. img_1637

After the hike, we headed to Crescent Lake. There’s a beautiful old lodge there.

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We did a hike up to a waterfall, and I finally got to experience that lush, overly green Washington forest that I’d seen pictures of for so long. I’d also never seen trees as big as the ones in the park, and stopped at far too many to snap a pic.img_1703

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Day 4: We boated around Mats Mats Bay and near Whidbey Island, spotting seals and cormorants.

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In the afternoon, we took the ferry back to Seattle and were joined by Mt. Rainier. My iPhone pics do not do justice to how massive and imposing Rainier is.

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It was a great start to our trip! Next, on to downtown Seattle and some of the neighborhoods.

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why #ImWithHer

hillary

Hillary Clinton is not “the lesser of two evils.” To call her such is plainly offensive. To lump her in with a racist, sexist, sociopathic egomaniac who doesn’t even understand how American government works is offensive. It is a shame she doesn’t have a respectable opponent to run against, because that may have actually allowed the American people to hear about her policies instead of her emails. Since the media has opted to spend so little time on policy, here are some of the policies HRC hopes to enact as president (and why I support her):

  • 12 weeks paid family leave and medical leave: Did you know that only four countries in the entire world (THE ENTIRE WORLD) don’t offer federally paid family leave? Want to guess what they are? Here, let me help. They are: Swaziland, Liberia, Papua New Guinea, annnnnnd the fucking United States of America. Can you believe that? We are the only industrialized country IN THE WORLD that doesn’t offer paid family leave. Hillary Clinton wants the American people to have it.
  • Childcare subsidies: Clinton wants to cap childcare costs at 10% of a family’s income. According to the Washington Post, “average child-care costs in the United States devour at least 30 percent of a minimum-wage worker’s earnings in every state.” She also wants to provide universal access to pre-K for 4 year olds.
  • Tuition-free state college: HRC wants students from families making less than $85,000 a year to be able to attend an in-state four year public college without paying tuition. By 2021, she wants to extend that to families making less than $125,000 a year. She also wants all community colleges to offer free tuition.
  • Gun control: No, she isn’t going to repeal the 2nd Amendment (the President can’t just get rid of an amendment) and she isn’t trying to steal your gun, though I would support her if she did. But what HRC does want to do is expand background checks and fight to make it possible for victims to actually hold the gun lobby accountable.
  • Mental health: HRC thinks mental health care is as important as physical health care, and she wants healthcare providers to treat the whole person. She wants to increase investment in drug courts and funding to train law enforcement officers on crisis intervention.
  • Women’s rights: HRC will work to close the pay gap. She will protect women’s reproductive and health rights. She will continue to support Planned Parenthood. She will address violence against women by taking a stand on campus sexual assault and gun violence.

These are only a few of the policy issues that Hillary Clinton cares about AND has plans for. I encourage you to see the longer list on her website and educate yourself on her policies, because that is what makes up a presidency.

rank city | ramen edition: Rishi

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The third stop in rank city: ramen edition was Rishi for some lunchtime ramen. Turns out Rishi was pretty dead during a weekday lunch hour. Maybe downtown folks don’t realize it’s open or they just don’t like ramen. Rishi has been open for a few years now and offers ramen, sushi, and…burgers? I recommend just sticking with the ramen.

What we ordered: Edamame hummus, pork ramen, chicken ramen.

Appetizer: The appetizer options are pretty limited at lunch. We went with the edamame hummus, which cost $7.95. It wasn’t a bad snack, but was pretty bland and underwhelming for being $8. Score:  2.5 IMG_0233Broth: Rishi’s pork ramen comes with their “house broth,” and it is one of my favorite things that I’ve eaten in Columbus. It is so rich and has a depth of flavor that leaves you very satisfied and full. It has the right level of fattiness without being one-note. Luckily for you, the chicken ramen also comes with the “house broth.”  Score: 4.5IMG_0235

Protein: I am a big fan of Rishi’s serving of shredded pork in their ramen. I know a slice of pork belly is more traditional, but the shredded pork is simply easier to eat. Not to mention it has a great flavor and texture. The egg rivaled Meshikou’s in its perfection; wonderfully gelatinous. I know that is a ridiculous way to describe an egg, but you guys don’t understand how much I love a perfectly cooked egg (and hate an overcooked one). Sadly, the chicken was not as delicious as the pork and grew a bit chewy the longer it sat in the broth. Score: 4IMG_0241Noodles: Rishi’s noodles are good but I would prefer them slightly more al dente. They tend toward sogginess by the end of the meal if you are a slow eater like me.  Score: 3.5IMG_0238Environment/Service: Our server was very attentive and didn’t seem to mind that we were in a bit of rush. Rishi markets itself as hip and elegant, and for the most part, they accomplish that. The decor is clean without feeling sparse. Someone (I suspect sneakily) played Jay Z’s “Holy Grail” (feat Justin Timberlake), so I can’t fully agree with the categorization of Rishi as an elegant restaurant. I love you, Jay, but we all know Magna Carta…Holy Grail was trash. Score: 4

Affordability: Lunch prices are a little lower than dinner, and the ramen came in at $10.95 (pork) and $9.95 (chicken). With the hummus, the total came to $31.01, which is a little steep for lunch. But that broth is so damn good, it’s hard to be too upset. And to be honest, I’m not even sure the lunch portion is smaller. Score: 3.5

Overall thoughts: I’ve been to Rishi multiple times and I’ve tried the sushi and some apps and observed others eating the burgers, but truly, the ramen is where it’s at. They definitely force the vibe there and would benefit from relaxing a bit, but their pork ramen is a delicious success. Sadly, we did not receive the wooden Gandalf-sized spoons that I’ve come to expect (maybe they are reserved for dinner?), but I am a big fan of the stone bowls, which keep the ramen piping hot. I always feel full and satisfied after eating a bowl of Rishi ramen, whether at lunch or dinner. Skip the $8 appetizer to have a very affordable meal, especially for lunch.

Total score: 22, plus 1.5 bonus points for portion size. 23.5.

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It’s been a long, a long time coming

“A Change is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke

I was born by the river in a little tent
Oh and just like the river I’ve been running ever since
It’s been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

It’s been too hard living but I’m afraid to die
Cause I don’t know what’s up there beyond the sky
It’s been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

I go to the movie and I go downtown
Somebody keep telling me don’t hang around
It’s been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

Then I go to my brother
And I say brother help me please
But he winds up knockin’ me
Back down on my knees
There been times when I thought I couldn’t last for long
But now I think I’m able to carry on

It’s been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

I’ve been singing this all morning, trying to calm and comfort myself.

It’s too hard to both go to sleep and wake up to more death and more injustice. I didn’t want to watch the video of Alton Sterling being shot to death. I didn’t need to watch the video to know that he was murdered. But I saw a few seconds of it by accident as I scrolled through Instagram this morning.

Those few seconds were enough to sere the image into my mind. Tonight I will fall asleep with that image, and tomorrow I will wake up with that image. And I will be afraid for my friends, and for my family, and for their children. And I will not know how to reconcile the fact that I don’t have to be afraid for myself.

But I will be your brother, and I will not knock you down when you come to me, and I will not turn you away when you come to me. And I hope you will teach me better ways to be for you, and together we will do more than hope that a change is gonna come.

rank city: ramen edition | Tensuke 3/20/16

candyThe second stop in rank city: ramen edition was Tensuke Market for some Palm Sunday ramen. Tensuke might be one of my favorite places in Columbus. It’s an authentic Japanese market full of inexpensive produce, sushi-grade fish, 20 lb bags of rice, and racks and racks of weird candy. It also has a dining area where you can get sushi, soups, and other fast Japanese foods.

What we ordered: Steamed pork dumplings, karaage, tonkatsu ramen with pork tenderloin, miso ramen with spicy kimchi pork

Appetizer: The appetizers are not the main appeal at Tensuke, but I have no restraint when it comes to dumplings. The gyoza had a nice filling of pork and spices, but were a bit underwhelming. Same goes for the karaage. They weren’t as light and crispy as Meshikou’s, but still offered a nice start to the meal. For both appetizers, we mixed up our own dipping sauces. This is a pretty key part of dining at Tensuke; you get/need to mix up your own concoction of soy sauce, chili oil, sriracha, and whatever else is available to add to your meal. Score: 3IMG_0384

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Broth: Tensuke has a pretty big variety of choices for broth and protein, but I felt I had to go with the tonkatsu broth for authenticity’s sake. Sadly, it was a pretty plain backbone for my ramen, and needed to be dressed up with the aforementioned Japanese condiments. But, the miso/kimchi combination needed no dressing up. I was surprised by the layers of flavor present in the miso broth, and the kimchi kicked up the spice level perfectly. Score: We scored the tonkatsu a 3 and the spicy kimchi a 4, for an average of 3.5

Protein: Because Tensuke is designed to be a fast dining experience, I don’t think they’re as concerned with sending out perfectly executed 6 minute eggs. However, nothing is sadder than an overcooked egg, and I’m tearing up just thinking about that solid yolk. While the pork tenderloin was not as memorable, the spicy pork in our miso ramen was very flavorful and a nice addition to the bowl. Score: 3IMG_0383

Noodles: Quantity over quality may be the case for Tensuke’s noodles. They are undoubtedly better than your average Top Ramen noodles, but didn’t quite reach that chewy noodle nirvana. There did, however, seem to be a never ending supply coming from my bowl. Score: 3.5

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My proudest dining moment.

Environment/Service: I’ve never been to Japan, but I would guess Tensuke feels the most authentic of all the Columbus Japanese restaurants. You order and pick up your food at the counter, but the service is fast and friendly. It’s typically a bustling place, with shoppers and families with little kids all waiting for their turn at a table. But there is no edging out other diners with side eye or loud harrumphing. We went on a busy Sunday afternoon and were happy to wander the aisles of the grocery side while we waited for a table. Score: 4.5

Affordability: Two appetizers and two bowls of ramen came to $24.56. Almost felt like stealing. Score: 4.5

Overall thoughts: I love Tensuke, so it was hard to give middling scores in many of the categories. It’s designed to be a fast, casual dining experience but not in the Chipotle way. Their food and products are very good, but finesse is not the name of their game. While it won’t satisfy any fine dining desires, Tensuke is a particularly great lunch spot with excellent prices and generous portions.

Total score: 22, plus 1 bonus point for being featured on Morning Edition and another for how fun it is to say “Tensuke.” 24.

rank city: ramen edition | Meshikou 3/18/16

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The first stop in rank city: ramen edition was Meshikou. Meshikou opened in 2014 and like most good Asian restaurants, it’s located in a strip mall, sandwiched between a popcorn store and a poker club. Also there is a hockey store, because those are a thing.

What we ordered: Meshikou Karaage, Barbecue Chashu Bun, Shoyu Paitan Ramen with pork tenderloin

Appetizer: The Barbecue Chashu Bun (pork belly steam buns) and Meshikou Karaage (Japanese fried chicken) were a great start to our meal. I’ve had some misses with pork belly in the past, so am always a bit hesitant with the first bite. The pork belly had a very tasty barbecue glaze and was cooked nicely. The fatty parts weren’t gristly or chewy, which is always my fear with pork belly. The buns were slightly overdressed with lettuce; we would have been happy with just a few cucumber slices to add coolness and crunch.

I was a big fan of the karaage. Asian fried chicken, whether Japanese or Korean, is proving to be one of my favorite styles. The breading was light and crispy while the meat was still very moist and juicy. It also came with a tasty tangy sauce, and in a cute miniature fryer basket. I haven’t eaten KFC since my whole family got food poisoning when I was 10, but in the words of one diner/boyfriend, “This is like popcorn chicken for royalty.” Score: 4IMG_0214

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Broth: Sadly, Meshikou no longer makes pork broth. Based on Yelp comments, they don’t think they can get enough quality pork to make their broth, which is hard to believe IMO, but whatevs. Instead, their ramen is served with a chicken broth. You can choose a milky or clear broth, but who wants clear broth with ramen?  I was surprised by how good the chicken broth was, but it just didn’t reach the depth that tonkatsu (pork) broth gets. Score: 3.5ramen bowl

Protein: We went with pork tenderloin in the ramen because we were already having pork belly in the steam buns. The tenderloin was cooked nicely and soaked up a lot of flavor from the broth. The egg was cooked pretty perfectly for ramen. Firm white with a viscous yolk. Egg yolk is the best condiment/sauce you could put on anything, and this one did not disappoint. Score: 4

Noodles: We had heard that Meshikou uses the same ramen noodles as David Chang, so we had high expectations. The noodle rumors are unconfirmed, but these were delicious, in any case. Perfectly chewy and dense without being too al dente. Score: 4.5

Environment/Service: I was expecting Meshikou to be more crowded on Friday night, but we were seated immediately. There were only big tables open, so we sat at the bar. I don’t always enjoy eating at the bar, but in this case it was comfortable. All of our plates and bowls (for splitting the ramen) were warmed, which is a major point-scorer for me. There’s nothing worse than having hot food served on a cold plate. Our server was great–nice and attentive but not chatty. We also heard two Whitney songs while there, so points for that. Score: 4

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Affordability: The two appetizers and one bowl of ramen clocked in at $27. Not a bad price for two people to eat dinner, but we did only have one bowl of ramen. Score: 3.5

Overall thoughts: This was my first trip to Meshikou. After reading the Yelp reviews and learning they no longer had pork broth, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I was surprised by the good flavor of the chicken broth, but it didn’t hit the ramen expectations I had in mind. I never got the sated feeling that deep, fatty, super flavorful pork broth offers. Which also meant I didn’t feel that full, despite eating half of everything I described. The ramen also cooled down rather quickly; I think it was served in a plastic bowl. I will definitely go back to Meshikou and try some more things, but will probably get my own bowl of ramen. They do not serve alcohol, but the cucumber water is a nice touch.

Total score: 23.5, plus 1 bonus point for the Japanese candy we got in lieu of fortune cookies. 24.5.

Stay tuned for the next ramen stop!

rank city: ramen edition

For the inaugural set of Rank City posts (in which I rank whatever I choose), I’ve decided to start with ramen. Columbus has a surprising amount of ramen restaurants; a new one even opened while I was working on these posts. If you never got on the David Chang train and to you, ramen costs .99 and tastes like MSG, you are depriving your tastes buds of an experience. While Columbus’ ramen may not rival Momofuku or the real deal in Japan, it’s worth checking out the varieties.

On to the fine print. I will rank the restaurants and their ramen on a 5 point scale for each of these categories:

  • Appetizer
  • Broth
  • Noodles
  • Protein
  • Environment/Service
  • Affordability

For a total high score of 30, plus any bonus points I want to throw in.

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Enjoy!

a few hot takes

I know, I know. My last post (the “I promise I’m going to start writing more” one) was four months ago, but then the holidays happened and I moved in with a man and it’s my blog so leave me alone.

Anyway, just stopping by to give a few hot takes.

On Bernie’s “white people don’t” answer:

Hopefully, you’ve recognized the glaring issues with describing all people of color as living in a ghetto. That is the biggest takeaway here. But the second issue for me is that his response is also clearly that of a white man. One of the things Bernie said was, “when you’re white…you don’t know what it’s like to be hassled when you walk down the street.”

ERRRRRR (BREAKS SQUEAL) WHAAAAAAT????

I definitely know what it’s like to be hassled when I walk down the street, and I guarantee ALL of my female friends do too. And some of them also know what it’s like to be hassled by cops as we walk down the street or get pulled over.

That was a hot mess of a response from Bernie, and I’m sure it wasn’t thought through, just like I’m pretty sure he’s not racist or sexist, buuuut, I’m voting for Hillary.

On International Women’s Day (sort of):

My company tried to do some cool stuff for IWD, which is encouraging because women in tech go so unnoticed. They asked female employees to send in questions to the female leaders of the company. Sounds pretty cool, right? One of the questions was, “what one piece of advice would you give to women aspiring to be leaders?” There were some good responses, but they were all dismantled by one too-long answer that was summed up in these two sentences:

To be respected, you have to be liked at some level. Figure out how to be someone that men want to be with, rely on, enjoy, trust and respect.

ARE YOU FUUUUCKING KIDDING ME???

I am so dissatisfied and frustrated by this statement and flat out reject it as advice. We are past the age of trying to fit ourselves in around the men in power, and we shouldn’t be advised to do so by other women. I know what it’s like to be the only female voice in a room full of men. I know we get called bossy when we have opinions. I know it’s tempting to appeal to what’s comfortable for men. But nothing will ever change if we keep on that way, and if women keep telling women to just get the men to like them.

On riding a bike:

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Yesterday was the first day that really felt like spring, and I let myself get talked into a 9 mile bike ride. Which I fully realize is not that far on a bike, but if you know me, it’s a pretty big deal. And now weird parts of my body hurt.

Also: